This weekend was bad. I was lonely and I felt so sad. I cried a lot. I am crying still, right now. I hadn't heard anything from him in 2 weeks or more and then I got a brief email asking me to hurry up and get the divorce done.
It made me so upset. I know without a doubt that he is seeing somebody else or it wouldn't be a priority.
He was married to someone else for years and wouldn't do anything to get divorced, and it nearly killed me.
He is such a jerk. I know he definately doesn't love me now but I don't think he ever did.
I imagine when he gets the decree around Christmas, he and his new lover will celebrate and then make fun of me and my sorrow....
Please God let me HATE him, please, take away all good feelings.
Monday, December 06, 2010
Wednesday, December 01, 2010
I hurt
I am hurting so bad tonight. The pain just keeps going and going. It was so awful the way he treated me a couple of weeks ago when we had lunch...it's like he went out of his way to rip some stuff out of my heart. I was looking down at my food sobbing and he just kept going on and on. He complained about how I unfriended him on facebook (after he told me he no longer wanted any relationship with me...except that he said ...someday....maybe in the future....someday.....we could have a conversation again...or something like that. He told me he wanted nothing to do with me otherwise and it seemed like he was blocking me from seeing his facebook so I unfriend him so I could stop myself from checking over and over to see if there was anything new.
Days after I unfriended him (only because it seemed he had already sorta done that), I got another request from an old boy friend to be his facebook friend. I accepted it. Remember, Jerry said he wanted no more relationship with me and he was no longer my facebook friend.
Why would he care who was or wasn't a contact on facebook since he didn't even want to talk to me on the phone anymore, we weren't friends on facebook and he didn't want me.
He has been mean to the extreme. He either has no contact or kicks me when I am down...and I am so so down.
I actually asked a guy at the studio if he wanted to be a simple friend to hang out with at an occasional movie or something and he totally blew me off.
As if I hadn't felt bad enough about things.
J has had no contact with me.
I know he has somebody else.
I know how he is. He wouldn't even pretend to date me until he asked his wife 6 to 8 months after she kicked him out and she gave him her blessings. That's the way he does things.
I hate him and I love him. I hope hate wins out soon.
Days after I unfriended him (only because it seemed he had already sorta done that), I got another request from an old boy friend to be his facebook friend. I accepted it. Remember, Jerry said he wanted no more relationship with me and he was no longer my facebook friend.
Why would he care who was or wasn't a contact on facebook since he didn't even want to talk to me on the phone anymore, we weren't friends on facebook and he didn't want me.
He has been mean to the extreme. He either has no contact or kicks me when I am down...and I am so so down.
I actually asked a guy at the studio if he wanted to be a simple friend to hang out with at an occasional movie or something and he totally blew me off.
As if I hadn't felt bad enough about things.
J has had no contact with me.
I know he has somebody else.
I know how he is. He wouldn't even pretend to date me until he asked his wife 6 to 8 months after she kicked him out and she gave him her blessings. That's the way he does things.
I hate him and I love him. I hope hate wins out soon.
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