I miss you.

I feel very lonely and blue. Even after I told you I was feeling better about things, you didn't seem to want to talk to me. Have you realized that my worst fears are true? I am so lonely. I guess all that talk about ultimatums and me begging, begging, begging you to ensure you filed before it had been a WHOLE year just seemed like more crazy Lisa talk. There has been so much emotion, so many tears, I guess it just seems normal when Lisa crys herself into oblivion.

Oh, Jerry I love you so

I love you so very much. Yes, I need you. Yes, I want you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want this more than I have ever wanted anything. But -- I've wanted it for so long and my love, longing, and lust for you have gotten me no closer to a life with you. I need to know when you plan to commit to be with me. (I don't mean "commitment" as in marriage necessarily. I don't even dare to hope for that.) I don't know if I can make it though unless you can give me something to count on. You know how hard this has been for me. You have choices and so far you have chosen not to be with me. How much longer will you not choose me? If you can't love, tell me so.

To my Love

Oh baby. What you wrote about sleeping with me was so beautiful. I read it at a time when I needed something positive, something loving. Your sleeping post was well written and filled with loving emotion. Thank you my love.

I love sleeping with you. I have never felt so safe, happy, comforted and loved at night as when I am sleeping with you. To feel your warmth, to sense your body, to sense your love. It's tremendous.

I know that the past week was very hard for you. It was very hard for anyone who knew David and his family but particularly hard for you. I was impressed by your strength and ability to comfort Stacy and Julie. Most importantly though, I was impressed by the depths of your loyalty, love, and devotion to them.

I know you are feeling very bad now my love. We all cared for, liked, loved, respected David. It's so very sad. I know you miss your darling monkeys. I hope that the next week will be better and will help you begin to find your balance again.

You are the love of my life. You are my everything.