I love you very much, I miss you, I need you. I am looking forward to spending the weekend with you. I am looking foward to hanging around with you and your monkeys. Thank you for the exquisite love making on Monday morning. It was exquisite, beautiful. My body was so in tune to you. You are an incredible sexual partner, so giving, so loving, so physical and sexual and crazy and into it. Oh my!
On a serious note - turn away and don't read if you don't want a downer - I am feeling pretty scared, panicky and sad that you and Sandy are still married, still haven't filed for divorce. I've been struggling with it pretty hard the last week or so. My journal entries have been filled with my thoughts about it; they are sometimes sad, often filled with anger. I know you won't have filed by your separation anniversary date. I already feel very sick about thoughts of it. Pretty soon you and Sandy will have a 17th wedding anniversary. Thoughts of that upset me too. My feelings complete teeter-totter between extreme emotion and numbness. Will you make it to 18? Maybe. I have so much pain and so much anger.
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